Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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