i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dignity is for republicans.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize