They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
