This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
