she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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