Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
