Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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