I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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