You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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