Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
