i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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