Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
