Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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