didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize