Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
