problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
