Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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