You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
