I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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