Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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