his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
