Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
