My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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