When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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