I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
