So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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