lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
