every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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