there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize