YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize