The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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