D3 body, D1 cock
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
