last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
two words...techno handjob
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
