the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
its not stalking. its research.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
