I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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