I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize