Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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