oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm both gender and math confused
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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