U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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