she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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