also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize