I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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