i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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