so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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