I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize