Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
