Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
