Where is the hickey?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
