that's an acceptable place to lick
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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