i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm sobbing to NWA
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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