i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
