How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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