I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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