brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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