I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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