i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she smelled like a LAN party
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
