i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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