ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
