TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize