Just cropdusted the office
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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