Cold hands, warm shart.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
