If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
