Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
