guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
