I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
