WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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