It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize