we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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