Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
