Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
