spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
did you just send me my own nude
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
