It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
