she was so not down for the gang bang
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
