Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
