i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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